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Stress Buster Strategies - #2 Tone of Voice!

Stress Buster Strategies - # 2

What Results Does Your Tone of Voice Get?

"I can't get my kid to do her chores," complained a coaching client. She always says, "I'll get to it in minute!!' "But she never does," continued Mom. "I feel like such a nag and there is so much tension between us!" Sound familiar?

Since this is Mental Health Month, we have chosen to give stress busting tips. Too much stress in the family can cause mental and physical problems.

Today’s stress buster is being aware of the tone of voice you use with your family. Is it loving and helpful or is it snarky, demanding or distant?

How does tone of voice affect interactions with our kids?

Your tone of voice can be the determining factor in success or failure in your communications. Think about this for a moment. How do you feel when someone uses a critical, disappointed, or angry tone with you? How do you respond? I usually get uncooperative and sometimes outright belligerent.

Here are some tips for changing your tone:

  • Ask your family to help you. Give your family permission to tell you when your tone is snarky. it is helpful to make this funny like telling them to say, “The Grinch is in the house!” Or have a one word signal like “TV!”

  • Watch your stress and tiredness levels. We tend to use negative tones when we are depleted.

  • Make sure you are getting your needs met. When we aren’t getting our needs met from our family, we can get whiny, grouchy or use guilt to attempt to get others to meet our needs. Get proactive about your needs. For example, “I am feeling disconnected from you. I need some quality time with you. When is a good time for you to do something fun?”

  • Listen to yourself. It can be difficult to hear our own tone of voice. Before you say something, say it front of the mirror. Or if you want to get gutsy, record yourself communicating with your family. Make sure you are not hard on yourself when you listen as that will defeat the purpose.

  • If your family member isn’t cooperating, check your tone of voice. Ask yourself, “How can I say this in a way they would feel like cooperating? How could I make this more fun and inviting?”

Using an upbeat tone of voice between family members is key in creating an enjoyable and bonded family - this equals less stress in your household. It is a life skill that you can have your whole family work on together.

Parenting Practice: This week, choose one of the above tips, one that you resonated the most with and play with it... Then head on over to our Facebook page and share your results and get ideas from the results of others.

If your family is ready to understand how to be free of the worry boss, and have a more peaceful, fun, and adventurous life, please jump in and sign up for this course.


The new edition of the "Redirecting Children's Behavior" book is now out! Click here to order your copy on Amazon or Kindle.There are a ton of new materials to help you discipline in a way that connects you and your child during an altercation. Wouldn't you rather that than you and your child walking away feeling empty, frustrated or angry?


If this message today spoke to you today, share with me or your friends how it affected you and follow us on our social media!

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