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Setting Limits, Part IV

Part IV

Yay! You have made it to the fourth part of a series in setting healthy and effective boundaries. These steps work well for any relationship however we will be concentrating on the toddler years. To read Part One through Three, click here.

Feeling guilty about our parenting practice is pretty normal. We feel devastated when we make our child feel small and powerless. We tend to use fear-based practices when we feel pressured to react immediately. Our brains are wired to respond quickly. So we have to make a conscious effort to learn how to respond instead of react.

Learn to pause BEFORE you parent. Do something to center yourself so that your response comes from a place of calm and patience.

Here are some calming techniques. Some of them can be done with your child.

  • Take three deep breaths

  • Wash your face

  • Count backwards from 10

  • Drink some water

  • Blow bubbles or blow on a pinwheel

  • Say a mantra

  • Leave the room if you are afraid you will really blow up

  • Pray

What calming Techniques have you tried? Comment below and let us know what has worked for you and your family!

After you calm down, ask yourself, “What outcome do I want here?” This question will help you to set your intention for creating an outcome that works best for you and your child.

In order to embody setting healthy and effective limits, you will need to practice…not just read or hear about the concept.

Your fourth assignment is to practice pausing BEFORE you parent. If you need to, put the word pause on several sheets of paper and put them in areas you can see them easily as a reminder. This can be a great model for your child too.

This ends our four part series on setting limits and sticking to them. This is just the beginning of our exploration and tips on this topic.

For a deeper dive into setting limits, check out our course here.

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Do you have a Tween Boy?

There are some nuances to raising a tween boy that are different from raising girls. If you know about them, it's easier to navigate these challenges. If you don’t know them, you are more likely to take some of their behavior personally or feel worried about them.

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Kathryn Kvols

Author, Lecturer, Parenting Coach

(352) 494-1581

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