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The NUMBER ONE Best Question to Ask Your Kids in the Morning

Most of us ask our kids, "Did you brush your teeth? Do you have all of your homework done? Do you have your shin guards for soccer?" These are all important questions to help your child be prepared for their day.

HOWEVER the number one best question to ask your child is (I feel there should be a drum roll here!): "How is your heart this morning?"...a little attitude check goes a long way.

How your child starts their day often sets the mood for their WHOLE day. If your child is angry, stressed, afraid, had a bad dream, or worried that someone will take his lunch today, it will be difficult if not impossible for him to learn. When our brains, researchers say, are flooded with negative emotions, it is hard to concentrate on anything else. You know the feeling, right?

So here is how you do it:

You and/or your child put your hand on your heart and get really quiet and ask, "How does my heart feel today?" You may have to prompt your child by asking, "Is your heart happy, sad, angry, scared, loving, excited or something different?" If their answer (or yours) is something negative, ask,"What could you do to make your heart feel better?" Use your best non-judgmental, curious tone of voice. Be careful to not put your words into their mouth. This must come from them for it to be most effective. After you get familiar with this method, you can simply ask, "Heart check?"

Setting the Stage

So do a "Heart Check" every morning. You want to set the stage for this morning ritual. This is an important matter of the heart so you don't want to do a rush job on this. Deliberately set some quiet time aside so if your child's heart is not in a good space, you have time to turn it around.

You are teaching the very valuable life skill of being at choice of our emotions. Our emotions don't control us. We control our emotions. Think about this as though you were making an investment in your child's future. It is that important!

You may want to do your own "Heart Check" before you address the rest of the family or you may want to do with your child. Try it both ways and see which one works the best for you.

For Teenagers

Awkward, you might be thinking if you have teenagers. Yes, it may be awkward at first and they may look at you like, "What ancient planet did you just come from?" But remember your teen needs this valuable life skill too. So it is worth the momentary flash of a nasty look. Even if they don't answer you, you have put the thought into motion.You may want to scratch the part of putting your hand on your heart and you may want to ask, "Where are you at?" instead of "How does your heart feel?"

Modeling is always your most effective option if your teen does not feel like playing. You may want to say something like: "I woke up feeling C-R-A-N-K-Y this morning. So I put on my favorite music and danced. It changed my mood immediately. I feel so much better now!"

Something to Look Forward to:

One day your child is going to look at you and ask, "Heart check, mommy," and you will realize that you have created an amazing team of support to set your day off right.

How your child starts their day often sets the mood for their WHOLE day.

Parenting Practice

Start your family's day off right by doing a "Heart Check."


Parenting can be quite the challenge. It is always good to have new tools in your "parenting tool box." Want personal coaching and problem solving solutions? Sign up for a FREE 15 Minute Strategy Session. We will pinpoint an irksome behavior and plan a strategy for resolving this issue.


If this message today spoke to you today, share with me or your friends how it affected you and follow us on our social media!

Kathryn Kvols

Author, Lecturer, Parenting Coach

(352) 494-1581

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